Beware of the devourer!

We do not have the audacity to put ourselves in the same class or compare ourselves with some who [supply testimonials to] commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they lack wisdom and behave like fools. ~2COR. 10:12 (AMP)

 But godliness actually is a source of great gain when accompanied by contentment [that contentment which comes from a sense of inner confidence based on the sufficiency of God]. ~1TIM.6:6 (AMP)

 

My name is Pamela I graduated a little over ten (10) years ago with a brilliant second class upper result from one of the prestigious universities in the country and this is my story.

 

 All efforts to get a decent job proved abortive. I submitted my CV in countless organizations. But one in particular struck up my interest, I really wanted to work there, apart from it being in my line of study, it was a government parastatal with multinational affiliation having mouth watery packages. 

 

On one of the days I went visiting the said organization, at the gate I saw a very classy car about to drive out. The car pulled over and behold, it was a former course mate of mine, Bello, who had graduated with a pitiable third class, he worked in the organization and really living large, this is a fellow who partied virtually every night all through school and hardly wrote any exam on his own, I couldn't believe my eyes. He took me to lunch, and made me understand there was no vacancy yet but promised to look in for me incase of an opening, he eventually gave me 10,000 naira for cab, what? I had to pretend all through to be happy but inside me, I was full of jealous-anger, that immediately I got home, all hell was let loose.

 

I cried my heart out regretting all my years of trying to be "a good girl" I was so angry with God more so because in our years in school, Bello had boasted to me when I refused his love advances  that this my 'good girl' attitude will never get me anywhere and that taking a bet, he will one day dash me some change to help my pitiable self, lo and behold, it has come to pass.

 

 I thought about all my struggles through the years to make ends meet, she refused to acknowledge that over this time frame, I got scholarship and did my MSC, a wonderful husband and four (4). 

I was so angry that I stopped attending church service nor prayed to God nor even acknowledged that God has been faithful to me in any way, I compared myself with my former schoolmate who was now 'living large' despite his wayward lifestyle and a pitiable result.

 

I began to doubt God's word and found fault in everyone and everything, I lost interest in doing anything productive or diligent, my heart was so full of bitterness, regrets and anger that I lost one of my child in the process until the day, my husband was fed up, he didn't understand what snapped in me, he threatened to leave. Hmmm! that one I could not bear.

 

I began to seek help, I came to your fellowship meeting at the invitation of a friend. When you climbed the pulpit and read these verses of the scripture;

"God is not a man that He should lie..." ~Num.23:19. 

 

"If we believe not, {yet} He abideth faithful: He cannot deny Himself" ~2Tim.2:13,

 

"But godliness with contentment is great gain." ~1TIM.6:6

 

The words pierced my heart like a sword and she broke down in tears, fell on my knees weeping and crying and asking God to forgive me for allowing the evil of comparism to creep in like a devourer. When I got home that night, I couldn't believe how much I had lost in such a short period because I was comparing myself with another. I made up my mind to make things right, God being my helper.

 

One day while on a visit to another organization in search of a job, I ran into another man I once knew...

TO BE CONTINUED...